The submissives fear
by Miss Eliza Lupin
Summary: Harry comes home after two years of training, to find happiness waiting for him. Rating is for the mentioning of rape, but nothing explicit and the smut later on that will be more explicit. AU, bit Dumbles bashing later on maybe. ON HOLD! I need to revise this, but I have little inspiration at the moment
1. Chapter 1: Seeing a long lost friend

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter since my name does not start with a J.

AN: Hello everyone, this is an edited version of my first chapter that has been beta-ed by fan-freak121. Who has helped me loads. I've found my muse for this story again, as well as my old notes. Which I was reading and nearly died because of how bad they are. The first two chapters are okay but I'm going to have to rewrite the rest. Especially if I want to extent this story some or give it a decent sequel. So I'll be bussy with it.

Next to that I have a reading the books fic going and that one is also demanding quite some time, so updates will still be slow but they will be coming again. Probably a new chapter for you all in the next few weeks.

Feel free to read this one again, it should be better and better readable.

Enjoy.

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Chapter 1: Seeing a long lost friend

It has been two years since Harry left. The only ones he had kept on communicating with were Remus and Sirius, but he never told them where he was or what he was doing exactly. Just a general idea with the assurance that he was completely safe.

In his last letter, dating one and a half month back, he wrote that he would come home today. Everyone had gathered at the Headquarters for the occasion.

Sirius was still kept under lock and key in the house, since he was not free yet. Though the lock and key was figuratively speaking in that sense at the moment it could be taken quite literally.

The clock had just struck eleven in the morning when the last person came in. Gathered in Grimmauld's kitchen were: the Weasley's, Moody, Snape, McGonagall, Dumbledore, Tonks and Hermione.

Upstairs you could find Remus and Sirius in Sirius's room. Though Harry would be coming home today , no one was looking particularly cheerful at the moment. They all dreaded to tell him that his godfather had finally gone completely mad.

They knew Harry loved Sirius to dead and would not react well to this news, Sirius would react badly to anyone who came near him, apart from Remus; now the two spend all their time together.

Molly was was telling everyone how stupid and irresponsible it was of Harry to just up and leave like that, while giving no one any information on what he was doing. Unbeknownst to her, Remus and Sirius were almost completely up to date when it came to what Harry had been doing.

_Upstairs with Remus and Sirius_

The two Marauders were seated on Sirius's bed. Sirius was looking at Remus with worry in his eyes and in his heart.

'Moony has changed a lot in the last half year' he thought to himself. For where once stood a confident, calm man, you now saw a curled up form that trembled in fear. Even in sleep the shaking that he had would not cease, Moony was frightened now, of the world and almost everyone in it.

To spare Remus, Sirius had pretended to finally go mad and only tolerated Remus by his side, to care for him. It was not the best solution but at the time there was nothing else to be done.

Today was worse than any day Sirius had seen before, but still he decided to address Remus in the hope to reach him.

"Moony, Harry is coming home today and he will want to see you. Are you up for it?" A very faint nod of the head was the only answer he received.

Slowly Sirius crawled forward and pulled Remus in his embrace. "It will be alright you know. Harry is smart, he will understand. There is no need to fear him." He murmured to the shaking werewolf.

At those words Remus relaxed a little and whispered "I know Padfoot, I know. But I cannot help but be frightened. He is an alpha, will he come after me as well? I would not be able to handle that, Pads." On that note they both sat in silence, waiting for Harry to come home.

_Outside Grimmauld Place with Harry_

I was standing outside of Grimmauld Place, watching it squeeze itself in-between the other houses, it was still a weird sight. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever manage to take the existence of magic for granted. Two years is how long I've been away, at least to them. For myself it has been so much longer, nine years to be exact. I left at fifteen, having just finished my fifth year, now I return at twenty-four.

Much about me has changed. For instane my hair is longer, I no longer need glasses and now stand at an impressive height of six foot four. Nearly a head taller than Moony or Pads. Merlin… I have missed those two and I worry, for I just know that there is something wrong.

Sirius told me as much in his last letter, but he gave me no details. He did tell me not to believe what the rest of the order would tell me about him, that they are wrong. I worry and wonder what it is about. But I have to be patient till I can go up and see them, he promised to tell me what was going on when we were face to face.

I shake my head to dispel these thoughts. I will know soon enough soon enough what is going on. I walked up the stairs and rapped my knuckles on the door, slowly it opens while no one is there. Hmmm… maybe a new brand security spells? Who cares, it is only me after all.

Silently I walk on to the kitchen, all the while bombarded with thoughts and memories of my godfather and the first time I entered this house. I am now close enough to hear muffled voices coming from the kitchen, just loud enough to recognize, Mrs. Weasley is one of them.

"… just wait… home….. three hour lecture… irresponsible… could have been killed!" At least I now know what is waiting for me, time to face the music! On that note I entered the kitchen. They all looked up and their jaws dropped, even Snape's!

I'm brilliant, I wish that I had my camera so I could take a picture and then spread it under the Hogwarts students... or at least to show Rem and Siri.

"Hello, everyone, it is good to be back. I missed you all." Though probably not Snape, though there's no reason to tell him that.

Dumbledore, McGonagall, Moody and Snape were the first to recover from their shock and to close their mouths. In response to my words I received a smile from Professor McGonagall, the twinkle in Dumbles eyes went up a notch, Snape's sneer and scowl were as pleasant as ever and Moody inclined his head in greeting.

'Well that could have gone worse' I thought to myself. Next thing I know, I'm being hugged to death by Ginny, Hermione and Mrs. Weasley.

'Guess they missed me to' "Can't breathe" I choke out, reluctantly they let me go. Mr. Weasley smiles at me as well as Bill and Charlie.

Then Ron and the twins step forward and hug me.

"Good to see you mate" He says.

"Yeah, good to see you as well," I say to him. "By the way, how's the joke shop coming along?" I ask the twins

"Brilliantly" Fred and George shout at the same time, then they stop short "Hey, how do you know?"

"Guys, I was there for the whole 5th year, remember?" I remind them.

"oh yeah, sorry" "we forgot" finished George for Fred. I had to smile at that. Seems like much is still the same here. I then turned to Tonks, who was still suffering from a slightly lose jaw.

"Wotcher, Tonks" I say with a small smile.

"Hey, Harry." She came over and hugged me, when she pulled away I could have sworn I heard her mumble "sex on legs." That had me inwardly snorting. Unfortunately for her I don't swing that way, yup I'm gay through and through. Happy about it as well.

An awkward silence fell that no one seemed to want to break. Since I'm not a Gryffindor for nothing I decided to take the bull by the horns and ask

"Where are Remus and Sirius? Last I heard they are still living here in the house, since Sirius isn't freed yet." A lot of uncomfortable and pained looks were shared, sigh. Hermione opened her mouth as if to answer "…" but nothing came out. Almost all of them look helplessly at Dumbledore, well here we go, let's find out what those two are up to now.

Still silence, broken by me again "Okay, what is going on here?" I demanded. Dumbledore's face seemed to age.

"Well, you see Harry, around a month ago something went very wrong. We still do not know what, but… Sirius… he went mad… lost his mind. He only let's Remus care for him, he is unresponsive to everyone else." Grief colored his tone.

I was perplexed, so that is what Sirius meant in his letter. I expected a lot but not this. There is something wrong but not what Dumbledore just told me. Somehow I get the feeling that it is the other way round, that it is with Remus were something went wrong, not with Sirius.

Those feelings are usually correct, so I turn around to hide the small tear leaking down my cheek.

When I turn back I ask "Where are they?" though I already know that they are holed up in Sirius his room.

"Upstairs" this comes from Mr. Weasley "They are in Sirius's room, it is one of his worse days." He gently supplies without it being asked. I turn around and walk back to the door while turning my head over my shoulder:

"I'm going up, when I get back feel free to lecture me and I'll explain what I have been doing." With that said, the door falls closed behind me and I make my way to Sirius's room.

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AN: Well, that was the edited version of my first chapter. Much more readable if I do say so myself. And some slight changes in sentence structure and the like, here and there. All thanks to my Beta.

Anyways... I would still like for everyone to review and tell me what you think of this chapter now.


	2. Chapter 2: Snapping

**Disclaimer:** My surname ends with a B, not an R. So I'm not the owner of Harry Potter.

AN: Okay, here we have the second chapter. Once again edited by my wonderful Beta fan-freak121.

I know that I'm updating these edited chapters quickly one after another but I find myself having time at the moment as well as enjoying once again working with this fic. So there you have it.

Enjoy.

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Chapter 2: Snapping

_Upstairs with Remus and Sirius_

(Sirius pov.)

I could see Remus's body tensing more and more by the second. That could mean only one thing: someone was coming upstairs and probably towards this room, which we had made into Remus's sanctuary.

A soft knock, that echoed through the room none the less, had Rem shaking worse than ever. Slowly the door opened, revealing a young man who was without a doubt my long lost godson.

His gaze swept the room and fell on me first then on Moony. His expression changed into an incredibly tender one.

"He'll be alright won't he? He's strong." Though it partly came out as a question I knew it wasn't one. He believed it. I just wanted to believe as well, but it had been like this for some time already and my hope was starting to wane.

I wondered whether he had any idea what was going on. He shifts his gaze back to me, grins and walks forward. I get up of the bed and capture him in a hug.

"Merlin, I've missed you!" we stated at the same time. This had us both chuckling. It felt good to have him home again. We let go and he turned his attention back to Rem.

"Hey Moony, how're you doing? Silly question I suppose, but you'll be alright." He said in a soft voice while walking towards the bed.

"Can I give you a hug?" The only response he got was a fearful look. I was about to explain and take the pressure off of Remus but he carried on.

"Don't worry Moony, I missed you, just like I missed Sirius. It is just a hug nothing less nothing more, no expectations, no repercussions, okay?"

I held my breath, hoping and praying that he would get through to Remus. That way we could look out for him together and Remus would have one more person to trust and confide in.

And hopefully he would also feel more secure knowing that Harry and I would protect him together. …The seconds ticked by. Then, to my astonishment, there came a short and timid nod.

I could jump for joy but luckily reined myself in, in time. I would have to run some rounds as Padfoot later to work of my excitement.

Hmmm, maybe Harry would be willing to play a game of fetch with me? Have to ask him! When Harry moved I came back to the present, with a graceful step he walked over to the bed and slowly lowered himself on it. He scooted himself over to Remus and tenderly wrapped him in his arms, holding him loosely so that Remus could easily break his hold if he wanted to.

Which was probably the best way to go about it, now that I think of it.

Getting barely a reaction Harry tightened his hold on Remus and the moment he was fully encased in Harry's arms, something happened inside Remus. Something just seemed to snap.

(Remus pov.)

My life has been hell lately, even more so than normal in the life of a werewolf. I had always been a submissive, but almost no one knew.

Through the help of James and Sirius I managed to learn to be confident and to present myself as a calm, strong and balanced person.

I had ignored my submissive side, but now I could no longer. If I had not done so in the first place, maybe I would not have been so fearful now.

During Hogwarts I was protected. I had my pack, my alpha and a beta both willing to protect me. James was the dominant alpha, of course, with Sirius taking up the dominant beta.

I was third in rank and the rat was fourth. Slowly through the years they taught me, so I was ready for the outside world. But now I wasn't any longer, now I was holed up in the room with Sirius, who is now the alpha of the pack, protecting me.

Because I had denied that side of myself for so long it came back to bite me in the butt with a vengeance. It triggered some physical changes as well, but I can not speak of it.

It is painful. So now I was extremely frightened and shaking in a tight ball on Padfoot's bed. That is where I had been for some time already, no longer dared I to leave this room, never mind getting out of the house.

I was a sub, without a mate and more than ready to be claimed. The doms in my vicinity could all feel it and I knew they would react to it.

But I want none of them, I do not want them claiming me. This started two months ago and I have been up here for the past, almost, five weeks.

The next full moon is in a few days and it makes me anxious. I cannot stay in the house so I have to be outside for it, where Padfoot can neither follow nor protect me.

I know there are several other werewolves nearby, I can feel them, and I know they will chase me on the night of the full moon. Chase me, try to capture me and once they have me, make me their mate. But I don't want them, I do not know them and can not trust them. Ohhh God, I don't know what to do, I am so frightened.

The sound of someone walking up the stairs shook me out of my musings. A sound I dreaded. Then I remembered, Pads had said that Harry would return today, maybe it is him.

That would not be so bad, probably, I hope. The tremors in my body pick up a notch, my fear grows as well, I am powerless to stop it.

I hope so that it is Harry and not Severus. Harry can make me save, I think and Severus frightens me more than anyone else.

The sound of footsteps has stopped, maybe he or she did not come up here, but no. I can feel someone's gaze on me. But instead of unsettling me, this gaze was soothing for me, easing my fears a little.

He spoke to me, in a soothing masculine voice, no longer that of a young boy. The boy I had developed a crush on. I hoped he had not changed, at least not much, that he would still care for me.

I needed no more, I could keep my love to myself. I had done that for such a long time already.

"Hey Moony, how're you doing? Silly question I suppose, but you'll be alright. Can I give you a hug?"

A hug… he wants to touch me, do I attract him too, like all the other doms? Part of me wants that but at the same time it scares me. I can only give him a look of fear. His voice is calm when he speaks.

"Don't worry Moony, I missed you, just like I missed Sirius. It is just a hug nothing less nothing more, no expectations, no repercussions, okay?"

I could hear his steps coming closer, it did not make my fear worse but neither did it calm me. It seems I had given my consent yet I do not remember it.

I felt the bed dip when he sat on the edge and even more when he scooted closer to me. After what seemed like ages his arms encircled me, not holding me tight, just a loose circle around me.

I could not move, I could not do anything, I was paralyzed. I could not have broken his hold on me if I had wanted to. Which I actually didn't.

Taking my inaction as permission he strengthened his hold on me, encasing me in his arms, with no room to move. I was pulled flush against his chest, a well defined chest and broad shoulders.

Harry was strong now. Strong enough for me, then I breathed deeply and I knew. I snuggled deeply into his chest, clutching at his shirt, inhaling lungs full of his scent and not wanting to let go.

Safety, finally! My own thoughts shocked me, my actions as well. As they did Sirius. I could hear his sharp intake of breath and then releasing it in a whoosh.

Harry on the other hand was calm and held me tighter, tucking my head under his chin. I hardly dare to believe it! Could Harry be my dom, my alpha? The one that I have needed all my life? Everything points to it. I cannot help but trust him and feel safe and secure.

I was completely calm now, I had no fears. He spoke to me, in a voice so loving and tender yet with such strength in it.

"See Remus, a hug is not a bad thing. It makes you safe. I promise to protect you. Together with Padfoot I will make sure that nothing happens to you. You can let go of your fear now." A slight pause. "I know you don't want to and do not feel like you are ready but I need to go down stairs and explain everything. I want you to come, together with Sirius. You can stay close to us, we won't let anything happen to you. Can you do that? For me and Sirius?"

I finally lifted my face of his chest, I looked at Sirius, seeing the promise in his eyes. His trust that I could do this.

"It will be okay Rem, we will let no one come near that you do not want near. Marauders promise!" He gave me a cheeky grin and I could see the laughter in his eyes.

I could feel Harry chuckling and hear him as well. I liked it. I looked up at him to see a face so beautiful that I stopped breathing. Ohhh Merlin, he is beautiful. My mate is beautiful.

Wait 'my' ? Harry is not mine, I want him to be though. Before I could ponder this too much I felt his fingers lift my chin.

"Will you come Moony?" While panicking and cursing myself I replied: "Yes, I will come down. I want to hear your story to" My voice sounded so shy I could kick myself. They did not seem to notice, while two identical grins covered their faces.

Harry slid out from behind me and the loss of contact had me whimpering. With a smile he took my hand and pulled me up and into another hug. I smiled as well.

When he let go Sirius grabbed me for a hug as well. "Thank you, Padfoot." I whispered to him.

"There is nothing to thank me for Rem." When we separated I saw Harry standing by the door, impatiently tapping his foot.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "What? I'm hungry and if we don't hurry up Ron will have eaten everything!" He stated with an innocent expression on his face that quickly morphed into a grin. Sirius threw his head back and laughed his barking laugh. I could not help but chuckle as well.

I suppose few truer statements were ever spoken. He flitted to my side, placed his arm around my waist and with a flourish pulled me from the room, down the stairs and to the kitchen. Sirius' chuckle following us all the way. I was nervous but with them with me it wasn't too bad, I steeled myself and then we entered.

(Harry pov.)

It felt so good to hold him in my arms, I knew then and there that I would claim him if he wanted me to.

Though I wondered why they had not arranged a mating between the two of them.

Both were single and it was easy to see that they cared a lot about each other. Hmm, will have to ask about that later.

But now it is time to face the music, and shock the hell out of them. I'm going to have soooo much fun! Muahahaha, cough, splutter, cough… oh yeah evil laugh. Oh well a Cheshire cat grin will do just as well, maybe even better.

Sirius pov.

I was happy to see Moony relaxing in Harry's presence it was good for him, well… the both of them, I suppose.

I was a bit baffled when Rem thanked me though, but I guess it is for letting him be and supporting him or something like it.

Ohh well, let's hear what my pup has been doing in his time away. Bound to be entertaining.

Ugh, Snivellus is here! Just my luck.

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AN: Okay, that was the edited second chapter. Not much changes here, apparently I had done better on this chapter than on the first.

Anyways, my Beta suggested not to change point of views so much and to just stick with Remus and Harry. I think that's a good idea. All the pov. changes were kinda giving me whiplash. The next chapter will be completely in Harry's pov., which is logical as he will be telling his tale.  
I think most of the rest of the story will be Harry's pov., with some Remus mixed in. I only used so many in the first few chapters because there was a lot going on at the same time. That's stopped now.

Yay, no more whiplash.

All right enough rambling from me. Just please review!

And remember the next chapter is coming in a few weeks.


	3. I am so sorry, people!

**This is an authors note people!**

I am so sorry and really am disgusted with myself for not having updated for so long, as well as for actually posting this note. I know I always detest them, but unfortunately it is not to be helped.

Lately I have been receiving a lot of questions and urgings to hurry up and update. Unfortunately my time is not my own. I'm going crazy with the amount of work that is required from me at the moment, also my grandmother is in hospital right now. Nothing serious but still distracting. Soooo, because of college it will probably be around another month until I am at leisure to start writing again and pay full attention to my stories.

Well at least now you all know that I'm still alive, things are relatively fine and that I'm heartily ashamed of myself.

See you around people!

P.s: I indirectly quoted a movie and a book, if you think you found them then let me know please! When I have a new chapter I will remove this one and replace it with the new one. I will then also tell you the "quotes" I used.

P.p.s: I have several stories going at the moment, I will have a poll up with the question of which you all want to be updated first, so please check it out.


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